27) Making New Memories

Mince Pie

Mum always made certain that even though she had three children she would make  time for each of us individually.  These times weren’t necessarily important dates or special occasions, just time we all had alone with Mum whilst we did everyday things.

Mum and I always used to make the mince pies for Christmas whilst the rest of the family would be in the lounge watching television.  In those days we would always wear a pinny when we were cooking.  I don’t know why really, because these days not many people ever do.  When we put our pinnys on it was almost a sign that we meant business, we were undertaking important and valuable work and we were set apart from the rest of the family in their civvies.

It was during these Christmas baking times that we would often chat about Mum’s life as a young woman, where she lived, what she did, who she shared her life with.  She had the most wonderful knack of talking about how life affected her when she was the same age as us.  It bought to life, in our minds, her history.  When I was growing up I always seemed to think of Mum and Dad’s childhood in black and white, like an old movie.  I always thought that their clothes would have been scratchy for some reason.  Strange what goes through children’s minds.

Mum had a difficult childhood, bought up by her Dad and a variety of Aunts, until her Dad married when she was nine years old.  She adored her Dad more than anyone in the world and would often become tearful when she talked about the wonderful Christmas’s she shared with him.  He had died before I was born, and she never really managed to overcome her grief.  I found that very hard to understand as a child, especially as I had never met him, so he didn’t seem real to me, even though Mum told me so much about him.  It was as if she was describing an old film she’d seen.

Something though that Mum said, that has always stuck in my mind, was that she always felt it was important to make new memories.  Not to erase the old ones, but to add to our itinerary of memories, to make our own histories. That seemed strange when I was a young girl, but as I’ve grown older I do understand what she meant by that.

We all have times in our lives that our thoughts go back to, especially at Christmas.  Times we wish with all our hearts that could be repeated right now. People that have passed through our lives who we miss and wish that we could be with once again. In Mum’s case it was definitely time that she spent with her Dad.  She would have given the world to spend even just a few moments with him once more.

I cherish the memory of my Dad singing Christmas carols on Christmas Eve the last Christmas he was alive. We were at a very grand party and the local choir were singing traditional carols.  We were in a huge elegant room with a grand piano and we were sat on the type of furniture you normally only see in stately homes.  The type where the ropes are around them to stop the public touching it!  It really wouldn’t have mattered where we were, my memory is of my Dad’s twinkling blue eyes, his warm smile and his deep rich voice.  I was so very proud of him. I would give anything to be back at that party with my Dad.

I cherish the memory of Mum and I cooking Christmas dinner, drinking too much sherry, and laughing and giggling like a couple of teenagers whilst we jived around the kitchen to ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree’.

I cherish the memory of my daughter rushing into my bedroom first thing in the morning, so excited to tell me that Father Christmas had been, with her arms full of presents that she wanted to open on my bed.

I cherish the memory of Ray, my brother, playing his guitar, making up his own silly verses to Christmas Carols, whilst drinking his favourite brandy and coke.  ‘Merry Crimbo’ he used to say.

I cherish the memory of my twin sister, Tina and I, waking up to find chocolate santas lined up around our beds and beautiful party dresses, one made for each of us, hanging on our wardrobe door.

So many memories of wonderful Christmas’s, but now, as they say, those days are gone.  It’s tough.  I know it always will be. If I could just snap my fingers and be back there just once more …………..

Now, I have new memories to make.  Memories where in the future I’ll look back and long for these days.  Where I’ll wish with all my heart to be able to share these times once more. That’s the Christmas I’m going to have with the people who are in my life right now, the people I share these special times with, the people I hold dear and love and cherish.  This Christmas will be part of my history.

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Roger Griffin
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:39:22

    The first entry I’ve read in your blog, following the page about you, and only the second blog I’ve ever read. Thanks for your guidance about navigating.

    You write really well. It’s like the writing becomes transparent, leaving the subject matter even clearer.

    I’ve been thinking about memories lately, how the reason for our existence could be described as “to make memories”, so this entry interested me particularly. You’ve reminded me how important childhood memories are to us as adults. To reminisce fondly, as you have done, is a clear indication of a good childhood. And I think this sets us up for adult life with a solid foundation of love and security, as well as a model for our own family life when the time comes. As a parent of two young children I would dearly love my kids to look back in a similar way.

    Reply

    • chattingwithspirit
      Dec 29, 2011 @ 10:24:21

      I’m so pleased you found your way around my blog Roger! I am sure that your chldren will definitely have many wonderful memories of their childhood times with such a fun and caring Dad. I had, as I would describe, an ‘interesting’ childhood, but many amazing memories nevertheless! If you have the time you could take a look at some of my earlier blogs – number 9 Pick’n’mix illustrates this quite well – lol!

      Reply

  2. kay gale
    Dec 26, 2011 @ 13:23:27

    Have been doing just that Tish. Just had the best time with the boys after years of being in the shade.
    Thanks for sharing your family stories & wisdom with us. Where’s my pinny….? xx

    Reply

  3. Niki Zabiela
    Dec 24, 2011 @ 19:51:08

    Aww ! Happy Christmas Tish here’s to new memory making 🙂 xxx

    Reply

  4. Lin Trendall
    Dec 24, 2011 @ 11:51:38

    Thanks for making me cry Tisha – remembering all those who enriched our lives but are no longer with us physically.
    Looking forward to sharing lots more of your memories xxx

    Reply

  5. christinadotwood@hotmail.co.uk
    Dec 24, 2011 @ 10:53:04

    Wow that was something else – made me cry!

    Reply

  6. Michael
    Dec 24, 2011 @ 10:04:43

    Wishing you a Merry Christmas and many Divine Blessings. Michael.

    Reply

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